In a Heartbeat Read online

  Erica laughed, although there was an edge to the laughter. “You sound like Sherry.”

  “Great minds think alike,” he said with a grin.

  “Tell me, when was the first time you saw It Happened One Night?”

  “An unsubtle attempt to change the topic of conversation?”

  “Exactly.”

  He laughed. “I have a confession to make. Tonight was the first time I ever saw the movie.”

  She stared at him in surprise. “But you said it was one of your favorites.”

  “A tiny white lie. I wanted to go to the movies with you.”

  She didn’t reply, and he wasn’t sure whether he’d offended her or not. He turned into her driveway and shut off the engine.

  “So, did you like the show?” she asked finally.

  He hesitated a moment, unable to answer truthfully. He couldn’t tell her that he’d found it impossible to concentrate on the story line, that instead he’d enjoyed watching her, seeing the emotions play on her features. “It was very good,” he finally answered.

  She nodded, as if satisfied, then smiled. “Thank you, Caleb.”

  “For what? We went dutch.”

  Her smile deepened. “For the popcorn and the adult company.” She opened her car door and stepped out.

  He hurriedly got out as well. “Why don’t I carry the little munchkin in for you?” He didn’t want the evening to end. He was enjoying her smile, their conversation, the very scent of her.

  “That isn’t necessary,” she protested. “I can get her.”

  He sensed a sudden tension in Erica, as if he’d over-stepped some invisible boundary she’d created. “I really don’t mind,” he said.

  “And I appreciate that, but she’s my daughter. I’ll handle it.” Erica opened the backdoor.

  “She’ll be heavy,” Caleb said, unsure about what had happened but knowing that Erica had retreated. “I can’t believe we’re going to have our first fight over who is going to carry a sleeping child.”

  She didn’t reply, but bent down to unbuckle the seat belt. She pulled Hannah into her arms, staggering slightly beneath the weight. “Let me,” Caleb insisted, holding out his arms.

  Erica hesitated a moment, then allowed him to take the little girl. “Okay,” she relented.

  Hannah’s arms automatically sought his neck and she curled herself against him.

  A bittersweet ache pierced him. So like Katie. How many times had Caleb carried his sleeping daughter to bed after a night out? How many times had he felt the warmth of her chubby arms wrapped around his neck, a whisper of little-girl breath in the hollow of his neck? A hundred times? A thousand? No matter how many, it hadn’t been enough.

  Erica unlocked the front door and guided him through the small living room and into Hannah’s room where the window air conditioner hummed loudly, but made the temperature pleasantly cool.

  Erica quickly pulled down the sheet and Caleb placed the sleeping child on the bed. He stepped back and watched as Erica skillfully removed her shoes, then tucked her in and kissed her forehead. Since Hannah was wearing sweats, Erica decided they’d be comfortable enough to sleep in. She preferred not to disturb her by putting her in her pajamas.

  Kissing a forehead, tucking in a blanket…simple pleasures taken for granted. Caleb had a desire to grab hold of Erica, to warn her, to make certain she cherished each and every moment she had with her child. They were fleeting moments, destined to be stolen by tragic accidents, the whims of fate or by the mere normalcy of a passing childhood.

  “How about some coffee?” Erica suggested as they left the bedroom.

  “Sure,” he agreed, both surprised and pleased by the offer.

  They went into the kitchen, where she motioned him to the table, then turned on the ceiling fan to stir the heat in the room. “Only a couple more days of the fans, then we’ll have air-conditioning throughout the house,” she said as she made the coffee.

  “That will be nice for you.”

  “It’s nothing short of miraculous,” she replied. “I didn’t think Stanley would ever spring for central air.” The coffeepot gurgled and hissed, the fresh brew filling the kitchen with its delicious scent.

  Caleb found himself relaxing as he hadn’t done in a very long time. A sense of peace flowed through him, a peace that had been elusive for the last year or so of his life. Nothing like sharing coffee with a beautiful, gracious woman to set things right with the world, he thought.

  With each minute of the evening that had passed, he’d found himself more and more drawn to Erica. He liked the sound of her laughter and the way a tiny wrinkle appeared in her forehead when she was deep in thought.

  It had been a long time since Caleb had entertained any kind of interest in a woman, especially a sexual interest, but as he’d sat next to Erica during the movie, he’d felt longing unfurl inside him. As he watched her reach into a cabinet for two cups, the short skirt displaying her slender, tanned legs, the longing grew stronger.

  He wanted to tangle his hands in the length of her hair, dance his lips along the column of her neck, taste her lips with his own. He could easily imagine unzipping the back of her dress, feeling the warmth of her skin as each inch was revealed to his view. Heat soared through him and for a moment he found it difficult to breathe.

  He tore his gaze from her and instead focused on the refrigerator, which was decorated with several of Hannah’s art handiwork.

  “Here we are,” Erica said as she placed two cups of coffee on the table. She sat across from him, making it impossible for him to look at anything but her. She wrapped her hands around the cup, then looked at him solemnly. “I’d like to explain to you, tell you about Hannah.”

  Caleb’s heart sank. He didn’t want to have this conversation with her. It was too soon…Erica might not understand if he told her about Katie. The only other alternative was to say nothing about his daughter…but he knew that would be unfair.

  Panic set in as he struggled for the best way to handle things. He didn’t know what to do. But, worse than that was the overwhelming feeling that no matter what he did, it was going to be horribly wrong.

  Chapter 6

  Erica wasn’t sure why, exactly, it was so important to her that Caleb know about Hannah’s illness. She wasn’t one to indiscriminately share private pieces of her life with anyone, but despite her reluctance to get romantically involved, something about Caleb made her want to share this part of their lives.

  “Hannah was born with a malfunctioning heart,” she began. “I could give you all the medical jargon and terminology, but it probably wouldn’t mean anything to you. The bottom line is her heart wasn’t working right and the doctors didn’t believe she was strong enough for surgery. She was given only weeks to live.”

  “That must have been really tough,” Caleb said softly.

  Memories assailed Erica…the tremendous high of giving birth, followed by the pronouncement of doom. Even now, the memory of the doctor’s face as he’d explained Hannah’s problems remained burned in her mind. He’d been compassionate and his eyes had radiated sadness, and Erica had felt as if her whole world had shattered into pieces as he’d explained the tragic outlook.

  She shoved the memory away, knowing that even now it had the power to move her to tears. “When the doctors told us Hannah’s prognosis, Chuck and I coped with it in diametrically opposed ways. Chuck turned off emotionally. He didn’t want anything to do with Hannah. He didn’t want to touch her or hold her. He didn’t even want to look at her.” She paused a moment, remembering how angry she’d been with the man she had married.

  Drawing a deep breath, she continued, “I, on the other hand, couldn’t get enough of her. I figured if I only had a week or two with her, I was going to cram a lifetime of loving into the brief time we had together.”

  She paused again, this time to take a sip of her coffee. “I realize now Chuck was afraid to love her, afraid of the inevitable loss.” She straightened in her chair and smile
d at Caleb. “But Hannah astounded everyone. She not only survived the first month of her life, she thrived. But Chuck never got past his fear. By the time Hannah had her first surgery, he’d left and never looked back.”

  “His loss,” Caleb observed.

  “My sentiments exactly,” she agreed. Briefly, she told Caleb about the many surgeries, the hopes, the defeats of the last five years.

  She tried to keep her story succinct, as emotionless as possible. She didn’t want to bore him, but wanted him to understand all they had been through in the quest to keep Hannah alive. “Over the next couple of years, after dozens of surgeries, the doctors had finally exhausted all their resources and they told me the only thing that would save her life would be a heart transplant.”

  “And?”

  “And almost a year ago, she had one.” Erica felt the tremendous smile that stretched her lips, a smile that came from her very soul. “And since that time, it’s as if she not only got a new heart, but new life as well. She’s healthier now than she’s ever been before.”

  “I’m so glad.” Caleb’s eyes shone with intensity. “I hope she lives a long and healthy life. She’s a special little girl.”

  “I think she will,” Erica said softly. “I think Hannah must have a very special mission here on earth to fulfill.” She shrugged and laughed, as if to lighten the conversation. “Anyway, I’m telling you all this so you’ll understand why I’m overly cautious where Hannah is concerned. I’m so accustomed to her being sick, it’s taking some adjustment on my part now that she’s well.”

  “That’s understandable.”

  She smiled at him gratefully. “According to Sherry, I’m a neurotic mess.”

  He laughed, the sound deep and pleasant and stroking forgotten chords inside Erica. “I don’t think so,” he said.

  “Maybe you just don’t know me that well yet,” she retorted.

  “Then I reserve the right to state my opinion after I know you better.”

  “If I let you get to know me better,” she teased. Flirting. She was amazed to realize she was actually flirting with him. And even though she was still terrified by the feelings he awakened in her, being playful with Caleb felt wonderful. She’d forgotten how good it felt to be attracted to a man, and to want him to be attracted to her.

  He leaned forward, his silvery-blue eyes almost hypnotic as they gazed at her intently. “Maybe I won’t give you a chance to deny me knowing you better. When I turn on the McMann charm, you won’t be able to refuse me anything.” His voice was light, teasing and she recognized the fact that he was flirting with her.

  She grinned. “Be sure and let me know when you turn it on. I’d hate to be the first woman who didn’t succumb to the McMann charm.”

  He laughed and sat back in his chair. “Don’t worry, I promise I’ll give you fair warning.” Although his words were light, there was something in his eyes, a sweet longing that touched a mirrored emotion inside her.

  “More coffee?” She jumped up from the chair, deciding the teasing had gone on long enough.

  She still was unsure if Caleb McMann was a prince or a frog and she wasn’t ready to take a chance again. She refused to consider risking her heart—or Hannah’s—to heartbreak.

  She topped off his cup, then gestured toward the living room. “Why don’t we go in there where we’ll be more comfortable?”

  “Fine with me,” he agreed.

  Moments later they were both seated on the sofa, a safe two feet apart from each other. Even with the distance between them, Erica was acutely aware of the appealing scent of his cologne, the masculinity that exuded from him and filled the room.

  How easy it would be for her to lean forward, bridge the space between them and place her lips against his. It had been years since she’d thought of kissing a man, but at the moment she was having trouble thinking of anything else.

  Caleb had a nice mouth, one that looked as if it had been made just for kissing. She could almost imagine the softness, the evocative heat of his lips against hers.

  “So, tell me about the work you’ve done on the house,” she said, desperate for conversation that would take her mind off his kissable mouth.

  He set his coffee cup down on the table and leaned forward. As he launched into a description of the ren ovations, it was easy to tell it was a subject near and dear to his heart.

  His eyes shone and his features were lit with an appealing animation as he talked about the beautiful wood he’d found beneath layers of paint, the hardwood floors beneath the old carpeting. His voice was deep and mellow, washing over her like a half-remembered pleasant dream.

  She’d once had fantasies about lying in bed next to a special man, listening to him as he shared his work, his dreams, his goals. She’d dreamed of that man’s voice lulling her to sleep with sweet nighttime murmurs, or stroking flames into her soul with husky words of passion.

  She set her cup down next to his and gave herself a mental shake. What was wrong with her? Why was she fantasizing, not only about kissing Caleb, but lying in bed with him, making love with him? With studied concentration, she managed to focus on what he was saying rather than old, discarded fantasies she no longer believed in.

  “Sounds like the house is going to be a true showplace when you get finished with it,” she said.

  “I hope somebody thinks so. I figure another month or so and it will be ready to put back on the market.”

  She looked at him in surprise. “You’re going to sell it?”

  He frowned thoughtfully. “Probably. I never really intended to keep it. It’s too much house for a man all alone.”

  “Does that mean you’ll be going back to Chicago?” She was surprised to discover that the thought of him leaving bothered her. Funny, two days ago his presence had bothered her; now the thought of him no longer being around bothered her. She was nothing if not perverse.

  “I don’t know.” He shrugged and looked away. “I’m sort of taking things one day at a time for the moment. I haven’t made any plans to stay or to go.”

  Erica pulled her feet up beneath her on the sofa and leaned back into the cushions. “I’d buy the house in a minute if I could afford it.” She smiled ruefully. “Unfortunately, I couldn’t even manage the mortgage on that tree house you’re building.”

  He laughed. “If and when I sell, I’ll make sure it’s written into the buyer’s contract that Hannah gets visitation rights to the tree house.”

  “She’ll haunt you forever if you don’t,” Erica replied, also laughing. Her laughter ended in a yawn and she tried to stifle it with the back of her hand.

  “Maybe we should call it a night,” Caleb said. He smiled teasingly. “When I make a woman yawn, it’s time to exit.” He stood and grabbed his cup.

  “Leave it,” she said, also rising. “I’ll get them as I go to bed.”

  She walked with him to the door and together they stepped out onto her tiny porch. The night was still except for a faint breeze that carried the scent of nearby honeysuckle. As they faced each other, with only the light filtering from her living room to illu minate the darkness, Erica’s heart quickened at his nearness.

  “I enjoyed the evening,” he said. His eyes twinkled as his gaze lingered on her. “Although I must confess, I started the evening with a very bad case of nerves. It has been years since I’ve gone to a movie with a lovely lady…especially dutch treat.”

  Erica smiled, the thought of him being nervous oddly charming. “I was a little anxious, too,” she confessed. “But we did all right, didn’t we?”

  He stepped closer to her. “We did so well, I wouldn’t mind repeating the pleasure.”

  She wanted to tell him no, to say that she didn’t want a relationship, that she didn’t believe in happily-ever-afters. She wanted to tell him that she refused to be hurt again. But he’s only asking for another movie date, the rational part of her brain insisted. He isn’t asking for forever.

  Before she had a chance to say anything, he dippe
d his head and claimed her lips. At first the kiss was soft, tentative, as if he were unsure what her response might be.

  When she didn’t step back, didn’t pull away, he wrapped his arms around her waist and deepened the kiss. Without volition, her arms moved up, her hands clasping him behind his neck.

  Their bodies pressed together as passion soared and his tongue touched hers. Erica’s head reeled dizzily as heat enveloped her, a heat that began in her center and radiated throughout her body.

  Her fingers splayed at his nape, enjoying the crisp feel of his hair, the solid muscle of his neck. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew they were treading on dangerous ground, crossing a boundary she’d been determined they wouldn’t.

  But breaking away from the kiss, stepping back from the sweet warmth of his arms, seemed utterly impossible. Rather, she wanted to linger in his embrace, taste the fires of his kiss for an indefinite amount of time.

  She could feel his body against hers, the firm chest against her soft breasts, his lean legs pressed taut against hers. Her heart tattooed a rapid rhythm as she felt the full extent of his arousal.

  The physical evidence of his desire caused stark reality to pierce the fog of passion his kiss had produced. She broke the kiss and stepped back, her legs slightly shaky with the desire that still coursed through her.

  “You taste just like I imagined you would.” His voice was husky and his eyes held the gleam of a million stars.

  Her cheeks warmed and she averted her gaze from him, afraid that if she peered into his eyes for too long, she and Caleb would fall back into another kiss…one she might not have the strength to stop. “I probably taste like buttery popcorn and coffee,” she said with an uncomfortable little laugh.

  “A compelling combination.” He reached out and drew his index finger down her cheek, then dropped his hand. “Good night, Erica.”

  “’Night, Caleb.”

  She watched as he went down the steps and got back into his car. She stood on the porch until he’d backed out of the driveway and disappeared down the street, his car’s taillights swallowed by the darkness of the night.