Lethal Lawman Page 18

  Now she felt like a tinderbox ready to explode with ideas and desires, with dreams and hopes. She wanted nothing more than to begin the process of living fully again, but she couldn’t do anything while being holed up in the upstairs room.

  And the worst thing was, the police were out of any real suspects, waiting for something else to happen that would hopefully provide a clue.

  She was tired of waiting.

  She’d spent two years in terror and one year hiding from herself and others. She was more than ready to begin her life, a new life that she chose for herself.

  A soft knock fell on the door. Her heart leaped into the back of her throat. Travis had brought up her dinner hours ago. “Marlene, it’s me.”

  Frank’s voice whispered through the door, and this time her heart jumped for a very different reason. She unbolted the door, opened it and pulled him inside. Strictly on impulse, she threw her arms around his neck and their mouths met in a kiss that felt completely natural and highly intoxicating.

  “Whoa,” he said as she released him and turned back to re-bolt the door. “Is it just me or would you have greeted anyone who stepped through that doorway the same way after being cooped up here alone?”

  She gave him an impish smile and realized how much she’d wanted to see his handsome face, watch that slow, sexy smile that curved his lips when he looked at her.

  “It must be you, because I haven’t kissed Travis a single time when he comes in here to bring me food.”

  Frank sat down on the foot of the bed. “I expected to find you depressed, but you look happy. Is it possible that being held in protective custody agrees with you, or have the booze fumes coming from downstairs addled your brain?”

  She laughed and sat down next to him. “Actually, I am feeling happy, among other emotions. I’ve spent the last three days planning out my bakery. Roxy has agreed to help me with some financial backing, so I can get started as soon as I get out of here.”

  He scooted up to the pillow and motioned her to join him lying side by side on the bed. “Tell me about this bakery of yours.”

  She settled in beside him, close enough to be wrapped in his scent, warmed by his body. “I’m going to call it Marlene’s Magic Bites. It’s going to have a display counter of all kinds of goodies and a few tables and chairs where customers can sit and relax while they enjoy whatever they bought.”

  He leaned up on one elbow, his eyes a dark blue. “And what are you going to serve in your bakery?”

  “All kinds of things,” she replied. “I’ve come up with a recipe for raspberry white chocolate brownies.”

  “Hmm, sounds good,” he replied and lowered his mouth to give her a gentle kiss. “Tell me more.”

  “Kiwi and strawberry topped tortes.” Her mouth was claimed by his again.

  “Keep going. I’m not full yet.”

  “Double chocolate and cream cheese bars,” she said.

  He kissed her again, each kiss lasting a little bit longer than the last and stirring a depth of desire in her that she fought against.

  She knew where he thought this was leading, but as much as she wanted to make love with him again, it wasn’t going to happen. It wasn’t going to happen because everything had changed.

  She could no longer separate sex from love, and she was no longer willing to settle for sex without love. As much as she wanted him, she knew in her heart, in her soul, he only wanted her for another night, and that was no longer enough.

  Instead of allowing him to draw her closer to him, she scooted away and sat with her back straight against the backboard.

  He looked at her in surprise, but pulled himself up to sit next to her.

  “Tell me about your wife,” she asked.

  She could tell by the widening and then narrowing of his eyes that she’d surprised him with the question. “What do you want to know?” His voice held caution, a touch of wariness.

  “I want to know why you didn’t tell me she committed suicide. Why did you allow me to think that she died after a long illness?”

  Pain was etched across his face and he rolled off the bed and stood, as if unsure whether he wanted to answer her or run out the door.

  “It was just easier not to go into it,” he finally replied. “It was one of the darkest times of my entire life.”

  “Tell me about her,” Marlene said. She knew now the power of sharing darkness, that sometimes in doing so a little bit of light was invited in.

  He sank down on the edge of the bed once again, his broad shoulders slumped and his gaze focused on the chest of drawers across the room as if it held all of his memories. “Grace was working as a waitress in the diner across from your place when I first met her. She’d moved to town from Harrisburg with a boyfriend who promptly dumped her. She was living in the motel, working long hours to make ends meet, and instantly charmed me with her smile and what I thought was her strength. Like you and Matt, Grace and I had a whirlwind romance. We’d only been dating about a month before we took the plunge and got married.”

  He got up from the bed, as if unable to sit still as he told her about the woman he’d loved, the woman he’d lost. “According to her, she had no family. She’d been an only child and her parents were dead. In the beginning our marriage was great. She quit her job at the diner, proclaiming that she wanted to be the best wife any man had ever known. She kept the house meticulously clean, cooked elaborate meals for breakfast and each evening, and seemed to have enough energy left over to light up every house in Wolf Creek.”

  He met Marlene’s gaze. “I didn’t realize at the time that she was in the middle of a manic phase. It lasted for about two months and then things slowly began to change. She started spending more time in bed. She always had an excuse...a bad headache, cramps, whatever. But I didn’t know she was in trouble, that she was spiraling down into a pit of clinical depression.”

  “How could you know about her mental issues if she’d never shared them with you?” Marlene asked softly.

  “I should have been more aware. I should have paid more attention.” His voice was rough and husky with regret. “I had promised to love her, to take care of her, but I was working long hours and neglecting the person who needed me most.”

  She heard the regret, she understood the guilt that rang in his voice, and although she wanted to ease his pain, she knew from her own experience that only he had the power to heal himself.

  He broke eye contact with her and instead stared down at the floor. “That last morning, she seemed to be back to her old self. She got up early and made me a big breakfast, hugged me and told me how much she loved me, and then I left for work.”

  His voice grew smaller, as if the back of his throat had constricted. “When I got home that evening, I found her dead in bed, several pill bottles on the nightstand next to her. I’d never even known she’d been on medication. I’d never seen the pills before. She needed me and I wasn’t there for her. It wasn’t until after her death I found out that she had a long history of mental issues, that she’d suffered from bouts of depression and suicide attempts in the past.”

  His eyes were hollow as he held Marlene’s gaze. “Why didn’t I know? Why didn’t I see the signs that she was in trouble?”

  “She needed professional help. You aren’t a mental-health professional,” Marlene countered. She got up from the bed, unable to stand the pain that still marred his features. She needed to touch him, to somehow comfort him.

  She walked to where he stood and placed her hand on his cheek, feeling the taut muscles slowly relax beneath her touch. “You should have told me about her sooner. You should have shared your pain with me like I shared mine with you.”

  He shook his head, dislodging her hand from his face. His eyes were tortured, his features once again taut with tension. “Why would I want to share my failure wi
th you? Grace needed a hero in her life and I wasn’t there for her. That’s why I never want to try to be that hero for any woman ever again. It’s why I don’t want to marry again.”

  Marlene took a step back from him. “And that’s why you and I will never make love again.”

  He looked at her in surprise. “But I thought we were both on the same page...no long-term commitment, just enjoy the moments we have together.”

  “That’s where I was before, but I’m not in the same place anymore.” She raised her chin slightly and drew in a breath for courage. “I deserve more than that, Frank. I want more than just temporary sex and a few laughs.”

  She hesitated a moment and then continued. “I’m falling in love with you, Frank, and if I can’t have all of you, then I don’t want any of you.”

  He stared at her as if momentarily rendered speechless. “This wasn’t supposed to happen,” he finally said. He raked a hand through his hair, the silver strands at his temples shining in the overhead light.

  “Trust me, it wasn’t something I planned on,” she replied, bitterly disappointed that her words of love for him hadn’t been met with joy, but rather with confusion, with concern.

  “Would you rather one of the other detectives take over as lead in your case?” he asked. His eyes had gone from deep blue to the color of cool blue steel.

  “Absolutely not,” she replied instantly. “This doesn’t change anything between us, Frank. It just means that I can’t play at having sex with you and not get more deeply emotionally involved.”

  He drew a deep breath. “Okay, although I can’t say I’m not disappointed.”

  “I also need to tell you that if this isn’t solved in the next week or so, I’m coming out of hiding.”

  He took her by the arm. “You can’t do that,” he protested. “We still don’t know who wants to hurt you.”

  “And so I just put my life on hold indefinitely?” She shook her head and pulled her arm from his grasp. “I don’t think so. I’ll endure this hiding out for another week, but then I am going back to my apartment and will start living my life, and if the bad guy comes after me I’ll just hope we’re prepared for him.”

  “You’ve made up your mind,” he said flatly. “Is there anything I can say, anything I can do, that will change it?”

  “Nothing,” she replied. “Just find the person who wants me dead and we’ll all go back to the lives we’ve chosen to live.”

  He shoved his hands in his pockets, eyeing her with a hint of regret. “Then I guess the best thing for me to do is get out of here and hunt down the bad guys.” He pulled his hands from his pockets and backed toward the door. “I’ll check in with you later in the week and call you to keep you up to date.”

  She watched as he left the room and fought the impulse to stop him, to fall into his arms once again and make love with him until she was breathless and mindless.

  But she didn’t.

  She couldn’t.

  She was worth more than sex with a man who had no intention of it ever being anything more. She’d settled for far too long in her life. Letting Frank go was going to be difficult, but ultimately she knew it was what she had to do.

  * * *

  The Avenging Angel sat at the bar in the Wolf’s Head Tavern and sipped from his bottle of beer as a euphoric rush dizzied his senses.

  Here. She was here!

  Following Delaney had finally paid off. He’d watched the lawman sit at a table with his buddies, drink a beer and then disappear into the kitchen. He’d returned to his chair twenty minutes later.

  The bathrooms weren’t anywhere near the kitchen. He hadn’t carried out any food. But there were stairs to the rooms Travis rented in there, and the Angel knew in his gut that Frank had just visited his lady love.

  She was upstairs, hidden away from danger, and didn’t know that danger had just found her. He took another swig of his beer, already plotting...planning on how best to destroy two people and finally calm the pain and rage in his own heart. An eye for an eye...justice served.

  Chapter 14

  Friday night and the tavern was jumping with business. Marlene was inundated with the sound of music vibrating the floorboards as people’s voices shouted or sang in discordant melodies that drifted up the stairs. If she listened carefully she imagined she could also hear the clink of glasses and the crack of pool balls pinging across the green-topped tables below her room.

  She was on her last nerve with being isolated and hidden away. She was tired of the noise and sick of the food Travis provided for her, even though she appreciated his efforts. Although she’d told Frank she’d give him and his partners another week to find the guilty party and get somebody behind bars, she wasn’t sure she was willing to wait another four days.

  Frank. His face appeared like a vision as she lay back on the pillows on the bed. Yes, he was handsome, but there was a solidness to his features, a steadiness in his eyes that drew her in. She even loved the silver strands of hair he sported, silver that was usually too early to appear on a thirty-five-year-old man.

  She also adored the sound of his laughter, so bold and rich, and how he’d made her find her own laughter once again. He had a goodness to him, a sense of strong convictions. He was in her heart despite her desire to the contrary.

  He’d called her several times each day since the last time he’d visited her on Wednesday night, but their conversations had been stilted, uncomfortable, and she knew it was because she’d refused to accept a friends-with-benefits kind of relationship with him.

  Even though she’d been the one who had shut down any more physical interaction between them, there had been moments in the past two days when she’d had to fight against calling him to come over and hold her, make love to her just one last time.

  Ultimately, she hadn’t made the call, determined to choose a future that eventually would include a man who was ready and willing to love her completely, love her forever. It might take time to forget Frank, to finally find the man she wanted to invite into her life, but the one thing she wouldn’t do was settle for anything less than commitment and eventually marriage.

  As if conjured up from her thoughts, her cell phone rang and she saw Frank’s number displayed. “Tell me something good,” she said.

  “Your gooey lemon bars,” he replied.

  “That’s not exactly what I had in mind,” she said drily.

  “I know. Unfortunately, it’s all I’ve got to give you right now.” Frustration was thick and heavy in his voice, mirroring the emotions she’d been fighting against all evening. “How are you doing?”

  “I’m thinking of making like a rabbit and hopping out of this place,” she said truthfully. “Do you have any idea how noisy this room is on a Friday and Saturday night? I can hardly hear myself think.”

  “If you’re thinking about leaving there, then I’m glad you can’t hear your own thoughts,” he replied. “I’m not ready to cut you loose yet, Marlene. I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to you because I let you go against what my gut is telling me.”

  “And what is your gut saying?”

  “That somehow things are coming to a head, that the silence since the last note doesn’t mean you’re safe, but rather that danger is just waiting to spring whenever you show yourself again.”

  Marlene sighed. “What good will it be to be alive and insane? Because trust me, I’m on my way there right now.”

  There was a long hesitation. “Do you want me to come by? We could play cards or something to pass the time.”

  It was a tempting offer, but one she didn’t trust herself to take. She feared that “something to pass the time” might involve the two of them in bed making another mistake.

  “Thanks, but no. I’m okay for now. Once the tavern shuts down for the night, I’ll just sl
eep my crabby mood away,” she replied.

  “Is this your crabby mood?” he asked teasingly. “Because I’ve seen crabby before and that’s not what I’m getting from you.”

  She smiled into the phone. “This is about as bad as I get when it comes to being cranky. I tend to get quiet rather than crabby when things aren’t going my way.”

  “I don’t want you getting depressed, Marlene.” His voice was like a soft caress against her cheek. “We’re going to solve this, and I’m going to stop into your new bakery often not just for the goodies you serve, but just to get a glimpse of your beautiful smile.”

  Her heart wrenched. Why did he have to talk that way, as if he really cared for her, as if her happiness was so important to him? He’d made it clear what he wanted with her, and it wasn’t any commitment, nothing long-lasting.

  “Thanks, Frank, that’s nice, but first you have to get me out of this place.”

  “We’re working on it.”

  “Anything new with the mountain searchers?”

  “They’ve found some vagrants, what appears to be an old meth lab, but no trace of your aunt.” His words were said with deep regret. “But they still have lots of roads to travel, so you can’t give up. Is there anything I can do to make this easier on you?”

  Love me. The words instantly popped into her mind and she shoved them away. “Just get this case solved. Sooner or later, whether you like it or not, I’m going to walk out of here and get on with my life.”

  “You promised me a couple more days,” he reminded her.

  “And I’ll give them to you, but after that, all bets are off.” She couldn’t live forever hiding out in empty homes and above taverns. She needed to go home, where her pink bedspread awaited her, and she finally had plans to change the future she’d once envisioned for herself.

  A few minutes later after ending the phone call with Frank, Marlene worked on her laptop for an hour or so and then changed into her pink silk nightgown, turned out the light and got into bed.