Strangers When We Married Page 12

  She aided him, eager to feel her bare flesh against his. She reached down and grabbed the bottom of the slip and pulled it off over her head. Reaching behind her for the clasp of her bra, she watched as he stood at the side of the bed and took off his jeans.

  Clad only in a pair of briefs, his desire was more than evident. Still he stood, watching as she unclasped her bra and took it off. “You are so beautiful,” he said, his voice a low, near-guttural growl.

  And then he was back on the bed with her, his arms surrounding her as his lips once again found hers. Her tongue slid over his lips and he moaned, a moan that seemed to find its origin in his very soul.

  They were flesh to flesh, the only barrier the underpants they both wore. Seth moved so he was half over the top of her, his mouth once again tasting the skin of her neck, nipping lightly over her collarbones.

  When his mouth found the peak of one breast, Meghan arched with pleasure. His tongue played across her nipple and shuddering sensations of response soared through her.

  She twisted her hands in his hair, loving the texture of the silken strands around her fingers. Her breath caught in her throat as his mouth left her breasts and he licked lightly down the flat of her stomach.

  He paused at the lacy edge of her panties and Meghan wondered if it were possible for a heart to explode. Then, his lips returned the way they had come, warming her stomach and once again finding the tip of her breasts.

  “Seth…make love to me,” she cried, unable to stand the tension that coiled inside her.

  He raised his head and looked at her, his eyes filled with a need that reverberated inside Meghan. “Not yet.” His voice was a soft promise of pleasure to come and Meghan shivered with the heat of that promise.

  He held her gaze as his hand lazily traced the waistband of her panties, then trailed down her hips to caress her inner thighs, never touching where she needed to be touched most.

  Teasing. He’d always loved to tease her, start her on fire until she was nearly consumed. Then, and only then, would he take her.

  “Did I tell you that you’re beautiful,” he asked, his breath a whisper of heat against her face.

  “You did, but you can tell me again and again,” she returned breathlessly.

  “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known,” he said.

  “And you’re beautiful, too,” she replied. It was true. Seth, with the glow of the night-light painting his bold features, looked beautiful and strong and utterly masculine.

  He stroked a hand down her cheek and pressed his lips against hers. And in this kiss…so tender…so soft, she realized she had never stopped loving Seth.

  Despite their divorce, in spite of their angry recriminations, and the bitterness of their parting, he was still in her heart. She loved him more than ever.

  With this knowledge came the awareness that she should stop this madness before they actually made love, that in making love to Seth again, he would only manage to burrow further…deeper into her heart than he already was.

  But she didn’t want to listen to the wisdom, didn’t want to think about all the reasons why this might not be a good idea.

  For now…for this very moment in time, it was right. And she could no more call a halt to it than stop breathing.

  As he broke the soft kiss, his hand moved down the length of her body and found the center of her heat, rubbing her gently through the silky fabric of her panties.

  Meghan returned the caress, stroking his hips, touching the smooth skin of his inner thigh, teasing him as he had teased her only moments before.

  His response was explosive. He tore off his briefs, then removed her panties, then eased himself between her legs and deep within her.

  For a moment neither of them moved. It was as if not only their bodies were intimately entwined, but also their hearts, their souls, leaving nothing left to do but exist in the moment, and in each other.

  It was he who moved first…a slight shifting of his hips that created hot pleasure to sear through her. He gazed down at her, his eyes making love to her as effectively as his body.

  As he moved again, Meghan closed her eyes and gave herself to the sheer pleasure of loving Seth.

  Seth wanted slow. He wanted to love her forever, to make each and every exquisite sensation last endless minutes…hours. But his eager body refused to listen to his heart’s desire, wanting…needing to move with a frantic pace all its own.

  She was softness and warmth and fulfillment and it wasn’t just physical pleasure that filled him, but emotional pleasure as well. They moved together, like one entity, their sighs and gasps echoing softly in the room.

  Slow. Slow. Seth told himself, but he moved faster and faster with her…in her…felt himself swept up in a vortex of sensation that sent him higher and higher.

  She climbed, too. Arching against him, meeting him thrust for thrust. Her fingers gripped his shoulders, nails biting slightly into his skin. She whispered his name over and over again, like a sweet song of joy with no other words.

  And he knew when she reached her peak, felt her body tense, then shudder and at the same time, he went over the edge, crying out her name as if it were the answer to her song.

  Moments later, they lay in each other’s arms. Their breathing had returned to normal, their bodies had cooled, but there was a fragile peace between them that formed an intimate connection that had nothing to do with their lovemaking.

  For the moment, there was no bitter past between them, no future to worry about…just now, with each other. “What time is it?” Meghan asked.

  Seth turned his head to see her alarm clock. “Nine-thirty,” he replied.

  “Did Kirk eat supper?”

  “Yeah, I gave him a couple jars of stuff I found in the pantry. I put him in bed about eight-thirty and he fell right to sleep.”

  She snuggled closer to him. “Seth?”

  “Yeah?” He used one hand to caress the silky softness of her hair.

  “Why did you send me away the other night? The night when I woke you from your nightmare…why did you say those things to make me mad?”

  Seth sighed and closed his eyes, his fingers still dancing in the silky strands of hair. “I was trying to keep what just happened from happening.”

  “You didn’t want to make love to me that night?”

  He heard the slight hurt in her voice and opened his eyes. Raising up on one elbow, he stared down at her. With her hair all tangled and her lips still swollen slightly from his kisses, she nearly took his breath away.

  “I was crazy with wanting you that night.” He remembered how, when she’d left the room, his fingers still tingled from touching her, his mouth burned from her kisses, and his stomach ached with need.

  Her eyes flared at his words. She raised a hand and placed the palm of it against his cheek. “I felt the same way, too. So…why did you send me away?”

  He sighed, raked a hand through his hair, then lay back down and stared at the ceiling. “Because I knew this might complicate things between us.”

  “So, what changed tonight?”

  He went back to stroking her hair, remembering that moment when he’d walked into her room and seen her in bed. “The moment I saw you here, your hair all wild and curly against the pillow, your shoulders peeking out from the blankets, I knew I had to touch you. And after I touched you, I knew I had to kiss you, and after I kissed you, I knew I had to make love to you.” The words spilled from him, impossible to halt.

  “Actually, the day I first arrived, when I saw you get out of the car, I knew I wanted to make love to you again. And each day I’ve been here, that want has grown stronger and stronger. I guess tonight I had no control, I couldn’t stop myself.”

  This time it was she who raised herself up on one elbow and gazed at him. “But this changes nothing between us.” It wasn’t as much a question as a statement of fact. “If you were somehow afraid that I’d mistaken this for a promise for the future, you’re wrong.”

/>   She bit her bottom lip, her eyes as luminous as he’d ever seen them. “I mean, we both know sex never solved anything for us, only this time there is nothing to solve. We’re divorced. We’ve each moved on with our lives. Fate just gave us a second chance to find a little pleasure with each other.”

  He wanted to protest the cool rationale of her words, but wasn’t sure what there was to protest. She was right. This changed nothing between them. Their lives were separate by choice, by her choice. She hadn’t loved him for the man he was…only the man she’d wanted to make him.

  This thought cooled any residual desire that might have reawakened and better prepared him for the conversation he knew they had to have. He would never again have Meghan in his life, but he could at least have his son.

  “Meghan, some things have changed,” he began.

  She tensed and pulled the sheet up to cover her nakedness, as if expecting something unpleasant. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean we need to talk about Kirk…and me.”

  In one single, graceful movement, she left the bed. “There’s nothing to talk about,” she replied as she pulled on her robe and belted it at her waist.

  “Yes, there is…where are you going?” he asked as she headed for the door.

  “To get something to eat. I’m starving.” She disappeared down the hallway.

  Seth scrambled from the bed and grabbed his clothes. They were going to have this conversation now, he thought with grim determination as he dressed.

  By the time he got to the kitchen, she stood in front of the refrigerator, eyeing the contents with obvious distaste. “I thought you were going to order pizza,” she said as she slammed the refrigerator door and opened the freezer.

  “I was. I got sidetracked.”

  She pulled a frozen pizza from the freezer, then set the oven temperature. “Then, I guess it’s frozen for tonight.” She went to the cabinet that held the plates. She turned to him and smiled…a forced smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Are you eating with me?”

  He shook his head, knowing she was attempting to distract him. “Meghan, we can talk about it tonight, or we can talk about it tomorrow, but sooner or later, we have to deal with it.”

  She unwrapped the pizza, her forehead wrinkled with a frown. “As far as I’m concerned, there is nothing to discuss.” She turned away from him, but not before he saw a shimmer of fear in the depths of her eyes.

  The fear confused him. “Meghan.” He stood and watched as she put the pizza into the oven. When she was finished, he advanced toward her, his hands out in entreaty. “I don’t want to fight, Meghan.”

  “Good, on that we both agree.” She stepped around him and went back to the refrigerator for a cold can of soda.

  “I would never do anything to hurt you or Kirk, and I don’t want to take him away from you. I just want to share custody of him.” He finally said the words that had been forming inside him for days, words he knew she’d been dreading to hear.

  “Why do we have to talk about this now?” she asked, pain lacing her voice. “We just made love. My body still feels the imprint of yours…what we shared was beautiful and wonderful. Why are you trying to ruin it? Why are you intentionally picking a fight with me at this moment?”

  “I’m not intentionally picking a fight,” he protested, although deep in his heart, he knew that’s exactly what he was doing. He knew this conversation would be difficult, that she’d fight with him on this particular topic. So, why, indeed, did he feel the need to discuss it right now at this moment?

  The answer came to him, surprising him. He had intentionally chosen this moment to discuss the issue of Kirk in order to distance himself from what they had just shared in the bedroom.

  His skin still smelled of her, his body still retained the warmth from hers, and his heart…his heart had been touched by her in a way that frightened him. He’d brought up the topic of Kirk because he felt weak and vulnerable, and he knew in fighting with her, he’d gain back his equilibrium.

  But, now…looking at her…seeing the pain he was causing her, he felt even more weak and small. “Okay,” he relented. “We won’t discuss it any further tonight.”

  “Thank you,” she said softly and the smile she gave him, so warm and grateful, once again sent him reeling off balance.

  Chapter 11

  Meghan pulled off her glasses and rubbed her eyes wearily, then put them back on and gazed at her watch. In another hour she could go home.

  Tomorrow was Christmas and her life had never been so muddled and confusing. Kirk’s chicken pox marks were beginning to scab over and he was feeling much better. He and Seth had become inseparable buddies over the past seven days.

  Seeing them together each evening, watching the bonds of love grow stronger was a particular kind of agony for Meghan.

  She had a fierce desire to protect her son, and yet worried that in protecting him, she’d ultimately deprive him.

  Seth hadn’t brought up the issue of sharing cus tody again since the night that they’d made love, and for that she was grateful. She didn’t know what to do, knew her head told her to get him out of both her life and Kirk’s, but her heart was so torn.

  David had called her the day before, and the moment she’d heard his voice, she knew she had to tell him there was nothing—would never be anything—between them.

  It was impossible to find a new love when an old love was sleeping in the room next door. Impossible to allow a new man into her heart when Seth already filled it so completely.

  “Meghan.”

  Mark’s voice pulled her from her thoughts and she gazed at her co-worker. She’d been shocked when she’d arrived that morning to find Mark at work. He rarely worked on Sundays. Tension had ripped through the office for the past six days, the tense aura of suspicion. Meghan didn’t know how to dispel it without telling Mark about Seth, but she hated knowing that Mark had grown distrustful of her.

  “Can I talk to you for a minute before you get ready to knock off for the holidays?”

  “Of course,” she replied. She pushed away from her desk and turned her chair to face his.

  Mark reached for one of the sugar cookies a client had brought in and Meghan tensed. The conversation was not going to be pleasant, if Mark needed to sustain himself with sugar.

  He raked a hand through his hair and studied her for a long moment, silently munching on the cookie until it was gone. “I’m worried sick about you.”

  She eyed him in surprise. “Why?”

  “You’re hiding something. You’ve been strange for the past week or so…. secretive…furtive.” He reached for another cookie, a deep frown marring his normally placid, pleasant features. “Now, I did some checking and I know you don’t seem to be suffering any kind of financial crunch.”

  “What?” Meghan glared at him in outrage. “What do you mean, you did some checking?”

  A slight blush stained Mark’s cheeks. “You aren’t the only one around here with a few computer skills.”

  “You got into my financial records? How dare you!” Anger swept through Meghan. “I’ve worked with you for years. I thought we were friends.” She punched off her computer as if she were punching out Mark’s eyes.

  “We are friends,” Mark protested. “That’s why I haven’t gone to Jonah yet with my suspicions.”

  “What suspicions?” Meghan stood and stalked to the closet. She grabbed a bottle of spray cleaner and a clean cloth, then returned to her desk.

  “My suspicions that you’re selling out.”

  “Oh, Mark, you couldn’t be more wrong.” Meghan set the cleaning supplies on her desk and ran a weary hand through her hair. “You know me, Mark. I would never do anything to jeopardize the agency. I’m as committed to SPEAR as any field agent, any other worker in the agency.”

  Mark stood and grabbed her hands. “Then, for God’s sake, please tell me what’s going on with you. Meghan, please talk to me.”

  Suddenly Meghan wanted…needed to tal
k to somebody. She pulled her hands from his and gestured him back to his chair. “You’d better sit down.”

  “Oh no, it’s worse than I thought,” Mark said mournfully.

  “It’s nothing like what you thought,” Meghan returned. She sank onto her chair. “Seth is at my house. He’s been there since he left the Condor Mountain Resort.”

  Mark’s eyes widened in shocked surprise. “Wow…in a million years I would have never guessed that.”

  “No, you preferred to guess that I was a traitor,” Meghan replied dryly.

  Mark looked chagrined. “Sorry, but I didn’t know what else to think. You’ve been showing up here early, sneaking time at the computer on things you won’t let me see. You’ve been distracted and preoccupied.” Mark shrugged. “Hey, I can’t help it. I’ve been trained to be suspicious.”

  Meghan grinned at him. “It’s okay. You’re forgiven. I’m just grateful you decided to confront me before going to Jonah with your suspicions.”

  “So, what’s going on with Seth?”

  I’ve fallen in love all over again with him. The words exploded in Meghan’s mind, filling her with a curious mixture of joy and grief. But she knew that wasn’t what Mark wanted to hear.

  “When he arrived at my place, he was filled with guilt over the L.A. sting operation. He asked me if he could stay with me while I try to find the whereabouts of the drugs Simon stole.”

  “Then he’ll know where Simon is. And that explains what you’ve been doing here.”

  Meghan nodded. “I tried to turn him away, Mark. I told him he needed to go back to the Condor, that he couldn’t take responsibility for the busted sting operation, but he wouldn’t listen.”

  “And so now he’s a lone, loose cannon ready to go off?”

  Meghan smiled. “Not exactly. Seth is guilt-ridden and maybe a little obsessed with finding Simon, but he’s not stupid enough to take Simon on all alone. I’m sure if and when he discovers where Simon is, he’ll contact Jonah and set up some sort of operation.”

  “Wow, I still can’t believe Seth has been in your house for the past week. How has that been?” Mark raised his eyebrows, looking like a mischievous young boy. “Any sparks reborn between the two of you?”