What If I'm Pregnant...? Read online

  His chambray shirt smelled of a combination of fabric softener and male and the cologne scent she’d come to identify as belonging solely to Tanner.

  She drew a deep breath and fought to control the tears that seemed to have an endless supply, but she was unsuccessful.

  As Tanner’s arms wrapped around her and held her tight, sobs broke free once again. He patted her back, murmuring soothing words as she cried for the mother she’d never had.

  It was several minutes before she finally managed to get herself under better control and stepped out of his embrace with a small embarrassed laugh.

  “I’m sorry,” she exclaimed. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Normally I don’t react this way.” In the back of her mind she wondered if this was the first symptom of being pregnant. She’d heard the stories of pregnancy turning women into hormonal messes.

  “React to what?” he asked gently.

  “My mother,” she confessed. She took another step back from him, still embarrassed that he’d seen her in an uncharacteristically weak moment. “I don’t know why I continually set myself up to be disappointed by her. You would think eventually I’d be smart and learn to accept her as she is.”

  “And exactly how is she?” he asked.

  Colette sank down on the stool behind the register. “Cold…uncaring, without any maternal instincts. She’s a woman who should never have had a child. And my mistake is that I keep trying to make her into something she isn’t, then I get disappointed.”

  Tanner moved to stand on the opposite side of the counter from where she was seated. He leaned forward, propping his elbows on the countertop as he gazed at her. “So what happened tonight?”

  Colette shrugged. “It’s so silly, really. I called and invited her to the big celebration tomorrow, but she doesn’t want to come.” She looked at him. “I knew she wouldn’t. I don’t even know why I invited her.”

  “Because there’s still a little girl inside you hungry for your mother,” he said, his voice achingly gentle. “I know that hunger. My mother has been gone a long time and there are still moments when I miss her so much.”

  She reached across the counter and touched his hand lightly. “I’m sorry your mother is gone.”

  He smiled. “And I’m sorry your mother can’t be what you need.”

  “Would you like to see the new area?” Colette asked, deciding a change in topic was necessary. “Mike finished the work earlier today and I was just about to make sure everything was in order.”

  “Sure,” he agreed.

  Together they walked toward the back of the shop. Colette had told herself all week that she was glad he had stayed away from the shop, that it was better if they distanced themselves from each other. Now she realized how much she’d missed him.

  She’d missed his sexy smile and the warmth of his impossibly blue eyes. She’d missed his conversation and the sound of his laughter.

  As they reached the new play area, her heart expanded with pride. Mike had done a tremendous job. A small slide stood in one corner of the fenced section, and on the other side were two little picnic tables and benches.

  “It looks like a miniature park,” Tanner said. “All that you are lacking is a couple of trees or bushes around the edges.”

  She nodded. “I was going to try to pick up some potted plants this week, but I just haven’t had time.”

  “This was a terrific idea,” Tanner replied, his words shooting a warmth of pride through her. “The parents who shop here are going to love it.”

  “Thanks,” she replied and picked up the stack of books to distribute at the tables. He followed her example and picked up the pile of puzzles. “You don’t have to do that,” she protested.

  He grinned. “It’s not exactly a difficult job.” He began to place the puzzles on the tables.

  “Speaking of difficult jobs, how is your crusade to take Gina back to Foxrun coming along?”

  His smile was instantly replaced with a frown. “I always knew Gina was stubborn, but I had no idea she could be this stubborn.”

  Finished with the puzzles, he leaned against the slide and continued. “Monday at lunch I tried guilt. I told her how important her finishing her degree was to me and how Mom and Dad would have wanted her to complete her education.”

  Colette finished with the books and perched on one of the small benches. “Didn’t work?”

  “Not by a long shot,” he replied. “Then Tuesday I ordered her back home. But she left in the middle of the meal, told me I was being mean.”

  “And Wednesday at lunch?”

  “Bribery.” He grinned wickedly. “Gina has always wanted a vintage Thunderbird convertible. I told her if she’d come back to the ranch and finish college, I’d buy her one.”

  “Wow, that’s quite a bribe,” she replied.

  “Yeah, but it didn’t work. She said she’d rather have her independence than a car.”

  “And today?”

  He gave her a sheepish grin. “She refused to have lunch with me.” Colette laughed. “Are you done for the night?” he asked. She nodded. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

  It took only minutes for her to lock up the shop and together they started back to her apartment building. As they walked, they talked, sharing thoughts about mothers and fathers and the important roles they played in children’s lives.

  He also talked about the ranch, and she heard the homesickness in his voice and knew it was probably only a matter of days before he would be gone.

  It frightened her…the hollow ache that filled her heart as she thought of never seeing Tanner again. And it was at that moment she realized with horror that she was falling in love with him.

  Tanner rode shotgun in the greenhouse truck, whistling beneath his breath as they headed toward Colette’s shop. It was just after seven-thirty and the sun was already bright overhead, promising a beautiful day for Colette’s celebration sale.

  Colette. He’d tried desperately to distance himself from her after the night they’d nearly made love. Instead of spending time at her shop, he’d wandered the city, seeing the tourist attractions. But she’d never been far from his thoughts.

  His thoughts hadn’t been just of how soft her skin had been, how sweet her mouth had tasted, but also of the intelligence that shone from her eyes, the quick wit that made him laugh.

  She was an amazingly strong woman and yet intensely vulnerable and sensitive. Seeing her tears the night before, holding her in his arms as she’d wept about her mother, had touched him deeply. He’d wanted to find Lillian Carson and shake her until she realized what a gift she had in her daughter.

  He’d awakened that morning knowing what he wanted to do for Colette and had immediately sought out a greenhouse. He’d taken a taxi to the tree nursery that one of the hotel clerks had recommended, pleased to find it open and available to make an immediate delivery.

  In the bed of the truck were two potted miniature rosebushes and two small dogwood trees with glorious white blossoms.

  He smiled as he imagined Colette’s reaction. Surely she would be thrilled. The trees and bushes would be perfect to complete the parklike aura of her kiddy area.

  “Up there on the right,” he said to the driver, a young kid who looked barely old enough to have his driver’s license.

  The kid, who wore a name tag that read Bobby, pulled up at the curb in front of the Little Bit Baby Boutique. “What time does it open?” he asked, obviously noticing the darkness of the store and the Closed sign on the door.

  “Not for an hour or so,” Tanner replied. “But I don’t expect you to wait. If we can just unload them on the sidewalk out front, then I’ll move them inside when the store opens.”

  Bobby nodded and together the two men got out of the truck. It took only minutes to unload the bed of the truck, then Bobby took off to head back to the greenhouse.

  Tanner knew Colette would get to the store early today. She would be eager to set up the cookies and pastries for her c
ustomers.

  He hoped the day would be successful for her, that the store would be packed with customers from the moment it opened until it closed that evening.

  He’d only been standing there about ten minutes when he saw her coming down the sidewalk, her arms laden with bakery boxes. He hurried toward her, his heart opening as he saw the shine of the sun on her curly hair, the length of her shapely legs beneath the spring-green dress she wore.

  “What are you doing here so early?” she asked as he took the boxes from her arms.

  “It’s a big day. I didn’t want to miss a minute of it,” he replied with a smile.

  The beautiful smile she returned to him warmed him from his head to his toes. But it was on her lips for only a moment, then fell away as they reached the store.

  “What’s all this?” she asked, looking at the trees and rosebushes.

  “It’s your park,” Tanner replied.

  She stared at the items for a long moment, then looked up at him, her brown eyes luminous. “You shouldn’t have done that,” she exclaimed, and unlocked the door to the shop.

  He was surprised by the anger that laced her voice. “If you don’t like the kind I selected, I can exchange them for something else,” Tanner exclaimed as he hurried after her.

  “That’s not the point,” she replied. She took the pastry boxes from him and set them on the counter. “You don’t have to do things for me. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

  This was not exactly the reaction he’d been expecting, and irritation welled up inside him. “I realize you’re capable of taking care of yourself. I just wanted to do something nice for you, and a gracious thank-you would have sufficed.”

  Her cheeks grew pink and she looked away from him. “I apologize,” she said softly. “And I should be ashamed of myself.”

  “Yes, you should,” he agreed, his irritation with her dissipating instantly. “And now I’ve got two rosebushes and two dogwood trees that need a home. Should I bring them inside or call the nursery and tell them to pick them back up?”

  She smiled impishly, causing her dimple to dance provocatively. “Why don’t you bring the trees and bushes inside and call the nursery to pick me up.”

  He laughed. “Not on your life. I’m not about to take over the job of selling diapers and booties to pregnant women.”

  As he went back outside to carry in the greenery, Colette set up a card table just inside the door and started a large coffeepot and set out the pastries.

  By the time Tanner had all the potted plants inside, she had finished with her arrangement of the goodies for the day. She walked back to the kiddy area and directed him where to place the plants, then together they walked back to the front of the store and poured themselves a cup of coffee.

  Colette looked at her wristwatch and paced around the store, straightening displays and refolding blankets. Tanner recognized her restlessness as nerves and knew today was far more important to her than he’d initially realized.

  “Come sit down, Colette,” he instructed. He grabbed her hand and pointed her to the chair behind the counter. “It’s going to be a great day for you, and all the pacing and nervous energy expended isn’t going to do anything but make you tired before you even open the doors.”

  She sat and smiled at him. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous. Today is probably going to be just like any other day of business.”

  “Only better,” he replied.

  “From your lips to God’s ears.”

  At that moment Gina appeared. She pushed open the door of the shop, greeted both Tanner and Colette, then grabbed one of the bootie-shaped cookies from the table. “Hmm, these are great,” she exclaimed after taking a bite.

  “Glad you like them, because if we don’t have any customers today that’s what we’ll be eating for supper for the next couple of weeks,” Colette replied.

  However, Colette’s worries were for nothing. Within minutes of opening the doors for the day, the place began to fill with people.

  Not only were Colette and Gina kept busy, but Tanner found himself working, as well, greeting people, checking occasionally on the children who were enjoying the kiddy area and waiting on customers while the two women helped others.

  The morning flew by and it wasn’t until after two that afternoon that they enjoyed their first lull. “Why don’t I run down to Johnny’s Café and grab some hamburgers?” Tanner suggested.

  “Sounds good to me,” Gina said.

  “I’m not really very hungry,” Colette replied. She sat down on the chair and heaved a sigh of exhaustion.

  Tanner eyed her critically. “You have to eat,” he said. “Did you eat supper last night?”

  She frowned thoughtfully. “No,” she admitted.

  “And what about breakfast this morning?”

  Her frown deepened. “No, I had so many things on my mind.”

  “Then I’m getting you a hamburger, and if you won’t eat it, I’ll personally force-feed you,” he warned.

  “And he will, too,” Gina assured Colette. “He’s a regular mother hen when it comes to eating three squares a day and getting a good night’s sleep.”

  “That’s right, and after I feed you there’s nothing I’d like better than to tuck you in.”

  Tanner heard Colette’s gasp and Gina’s hoot of laughter as he left the shop and headed for Johnny’s. Over and over again Colette had said and given indications that she was capable of taking care of herself, that she wanted nothing more than her independence.

  But Tanner had never met a woman who needed to be taken care of more than Colette. She not only needed somebody to take care of her physically, but she needed somebody to support her emotionally, somebody to share in her successes and failures.

  As he’d held her the night before and she’d cried about her mother, he’d wanted to be that caring, supportive person for her. He’d wanted to hold her tight enough that hurt could never find her heart again.

  It worried him just a little, the protectiveness she evoked in him. That, coupled with the desire he felt for her, was a heady combination of emotions that made him distinctly uncomfortable.

  As he’d worked in the boutique, helping expectant mothers and fathers, he’d found himself wondering what it would be like to be expecting a child. He’d looked at the booties and little T-shirts, the soft pastel-colored blankets and frilly dresses, and a deep yearning had sprung up inside him.

  Suddenly he was struck with an overwhelming homesickness for Two Hearts. Things were much less complicated at the ranch, and it was past time that he resume his life there.

  As he entered Johnny’s Café, he reached a decision. If he couldn’t convince Gina to return home with him, then on Sunday he would go back by himself.

  That gave him two days to get through to Gina…and two days to get Colette out of his head and his heart.

  Chapter Nine

  “Go home,” Gina urged Colette at just after six o’clock that evening. “I can stay the last hour and close up by myself.”

  Colette hesitated. The idea of leaving and going home and putting her feet up sounded positively wonderful. The day had far exceeded her expectations. It had been the busiest day she’d had since first opening the store.

  “Go,” Gina commanded. “You look exhausted and I can handle things until close.”

  “Are you sure?” Colette asked. The crowd had dissipated, and no customers were in the store at the current time.

  “Positive,” Gina assured her.

  “All right,” Colette said, capitulating. “I have to admit, I’m more than a little bit exhausted.”

  “You probably stayed awake all night worrying about today,” Gina said.

  “I was awake most of the night. I’ll fix something for dinner and have it waiting for you when you get home.”

  Gina nodded. “Sounds good, I’m starting to get hungry.” Colette grabbed her purse, gave Gina last-minute instructions on what to do with the leftover pastries,
then left the shop.

  She had been awake most of the night before, only it hadn’t been just worry about today that had kept her awake. Thoughts of Tanner had continually played in her mind.

  She’d sensed his restlessness and knew it was only a matter of time before he returned to Two Hearts. And it bothered her how much she was going to miss him.

  That moment the day before when she’d realized she’d fallen in love with him had utterly stunned her, and she’d hugged the warmth of that love to her breast all night long.

  However, it was a love she intended to do nothing about. Her life was planned and there was no room for a man in it—not even a man who made her knees weaken and her pulse pound. She would have her baby and her business…and that’s all she needed to be happy.

  She leaned tiredly against the wall of the elevator as it carried her up to her eighth-floor apartment, trying to dismiss thoughts of Tanner from her mind.

  However, trying to stop thinking about Tanner was like trying to stop breathing. He filled her head, filled her heart…filled her very soul.

  She’d allowed him to get closer than she’d ever allowed anyone else in her life, and now she regretted it, for she knew when he left she would mourn what might have been.

  It was impossible for her to know exactly what Tanner felt for her. She knew he desired her, but she wasn’t sure his feelings went any deeper than a healthy lust.

  But even if they did, even if he fell down on one knee and offered to whisk her off her feet and carry her to his ranch to live forever and always, she wouldn’t go.

  She’d seen the negative side of love up close and personal, and it was not pretty. She would never give herself an opportunity to become like her mother—needy, clinging and weak. She would never become a woman who built her entire life, her entire world, around a man.

  The minute she opened her apartment door she kicked off her shoes and flopped down on the sofa, exhaustion sweeping through her.

  She thought of the pregnancy test in her bathroom cabinet. It had been almost four weeks since she’d had the procedure to make her pregnant. It was possible it would show up on a test now.