Waiting for the Wedding Page 10

  “David Freeman. He lived here for a while. He’s Kathryn’s father.” She looked down at the sleeping child in her arms. “We stopped seeing each other soon after I discovered I was pregnant.” A touch of bitterness darkened the blue of her eyes. “He wasn’t interested in being a husband, and he definitely wasn’t interested in being a daddy.”

  “I don’t understand. Then why did you leave the baby here, on what you thought was his doorstep?” Sherry asked.

  Again Mandy’s eyes darkened. “Because I didn’t know what else to do.”

  She rocked back and forth, as if comforting the sleeping baby, but Clint suspected she was soothing herself.

  “I needed her to be someplace where I knew she’d be safe, where they wouldn’t find her,” she continued. “Since I hadn’t seen Dave for a long time and I didn’t list him on the birth certificate, I thought she’d be safe with him.”

  “Safe from what?” Clint asked. “From who?” He sat in the chair opposite the sofa.

  She stopped rocking and released a heavy sigh. “It all started when I got called for jury duty in Kansas City—that’s where I live. I’d had lots of friends serve on juries before and it didn’t seem like a big deal. I thought it might be interesting, but I had no idea it would be life threatening.”

  “Life threatening?” Sherry eyed her curiously. “What kind of trial was it?”

  “I was on the jury that just an hour or so ago convicted Maxwell Boothe,” she said.

  “Yeah, I read about that trial. Isn’t he some kind of drug kingpin?” Clint asked. Each evening the news had carried an update on the trial of the powerful, wealthy man who had been indicted several times before but never convicted.

  Mandy nodded. “He’s the top man in a drug cartel, he’s a murderer and a blackmailer.” She raised her chin a notch, pride gleaming from her eyes. “We convicted him, and he’s going to be in prison for a very long time.”

  “I don’t understand. What does this have to do with Kathryn’s safety?” Sherry asked.

  Mandy’s arms tightened around Kathryn, and she leaned down and dropped a feathery kiss to her forehead. She drew a deep breath, her gaze shifting from Sherry to Clint, then back again. “The jury was seated late in the day. The judge dismissed us, told us to go home and make whatever preparations we needed to and to pack a bag because when we returned the next morning we would be sequestered.”

  Sequestered. That was why she hadn’t been able to care for Kathryn and why she had been away for an entire week, Clint thought. He frowned. “I still don’t understand why you left Kathryn here. Don’t you have family? A regular baby-sitter?” He eyed her sternly. “You took one hell of a chance, putting her on the porch and just walking away.”

  “No family, and I didn’t know what else to do,” she exclaimed. “As I was leaving the courtroom to go home to pack and make sure Kathryn’s regular baby-sitter could watch her, a man sidled up next to me and threatened me—threatened Kathryn.” Her blue eyes darkened as she remembered her fear.

  Kathryn stirred against her, as if picking up the negative vibes her mother radiated. “Shh,” she soothed her daughter, and rubbed a fingertip across Kathryn’s wrinkled brow. The baby instantly settled back into her peaceful slumber.

  Mandy once again looked at Clint. “He whispered in my ear, told me I had a beautiful baby, but if I didn’t vote to acquit Maxwell Boothe, she wouldn’t be beautiful for long.” She looked down at the baby in her arms, and when she gazed at Clint, tears once again shimmered in her eyes.

  “I didn’t know what to do…where to turn. I wasn’t willing to put Kathryn at risk, but I also wasn’t willing to be blackmailed into anything.”

  “And so you thought of Dave,” Clint said.

  She nodded. “ I went home and packed, then got up in the middle of the night and drove for hours, making certain I wasn’t being followed. Then, just after dawn, I came here and left Kathryn.”

  She looked at them both, pleading for them to understand. “It was the only thing I could think of to remove her from harm so I could do what I had to do.” She rubbed her forehead in a gesture of weariness. “Dave is rather immature and not ready for commitment or a family, but I knew he’d take good care of her. He’s a good man at heart.”

  “The moment you were threatened you should have gone immediately to the judge or the prosecuting attorney,” Clint said.

  She eyed him cynically. “I was afraid to. I know that in the past, material witnesses against this man have disappeared, that even in one instance a witness under protection, hidden in a safe house, was killed. I didn’t know who could really be trusted, so I decided to trust only myself.”

  “I would have done the same thing,” Sherry replied, then looked at Clint defiantly. “Well, I would have, especially if it meant the safety of my child.”

  Clint wanted to protest, to tell them both that going to the authorities was the proper thing to do…the safe thing to do, but he was savvy enough to recognize that cops could be bought, as well as judges and attorneys.

  “As soon as we returned the verdict, I told both the judge and the prosecuting attorney about the threat. I also gave them a physical description of the man and they immediately issued a warrant for his arrest,” Mandy said.

  “It was probably the same man who tried to break in here and get to Kathryn,” Clint said, thinking aloud.

  Mandy gasped in horror. “Somebody tried to break in, and you think they were after my daughter?”

  “Yeah, but hopefully it’s the man who threatened you, and before long the authorities will have him in custody,” Clint tried to assure her.

  Mandy nodded, although her grasp had once again tightened around her daughter. “I’m taking Kathryn and going on a little vacation until all this has quieted down.”

  “That’s probably a good idea,” Clint agreed.

  “Does that mean you understand why I left her? That I’m free to take her and go?”

  Clint looked at the sleeping little girl and studiously kept his gaze away from Sherry. He knew her heart was breaking, and he couldn’t bear to see it happen right before his eyes. He nodded to Mandy. “You’re free to go.”

  She stood, grateful tears spilling onto her cheeks. “Can I pay you…for taking care of her?”

  “No,” Sherry said sharply and stood as well. “There’s no price that can be placed on our love. She has some things here. Just let me go get them.” She turned on her heels and disappeared from the living room.

  “I don’t know how to thank you,” Mandy said to Clint. “I’ll never be able to repay you for your kindness in keeping her here, taking care of her.”

  “Keep her safe and love her, that’s all we ask of you,” Clint said, surprised to find a lump in his throat that made speech difficult.

  Mandy nodded, her face reflecting the kind of steely strength and protective love that only a mother could possess.

  Sherry came back into the room, clutching not only the diaper bag but a large shopping bag, as well. “These are the things you left with her,” she said as she handed Mandy the diaper bag.

  “And these are things Clint and I picked up for her. She loves to chew on the rattle that looks like a dancing bear, and the pink blanket is her favorite….” Sherry dropped the bag at Mandy’s feet and turned away. “Please…excuse me. I’m sorry,” she said, her voice trembling with tears. She turned and ran from the living room.

  Clint helped Mandy carry everything to her car. He buckled Kathryn’s seat into the back of her car, then gently placed the baby girl into the seat and buckled her in. He placed his lips against her sweet little cheek in a lingering final kiss.

  A hollow ache resonated inside him as he watched the car pull away from the curb and disappear into the purple shadows of deep twilight. Finally the mystery of Kathryn had been solved, and she was now gone from their lives.

  He turned and went back into the house, knowing somehow he had to help Sherry pick up the pieces of her heart. He walked throug
h the living room, down the hallway and stopped outside her closed bedroom door.

  He thought about knocking, but knew she’d turn him away. He knew instinctively that her grief was deep, almost as deep as the anguish she’d suffered when the doctor had told her she would have no children of her own.

  She’d been reluctant to share her grief then, too. It had taken her three days before she’d allow him to hold her, allow his shoulder to absorb her tears, his heart to help carry the burden of her pain.

  He opened the door to find her lying on the bed in the near-dark room. “Sherry,” he called her name softly.

  “Go away, Clint. I’ll be out in a little while.” Her voice was muffled by the pillow she clutched against her.

  “No, darlin’, I’m not going to go away.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “I’m the one who’s partially responsible for your hurting. I think the least I can do is help make the pain go away.”

  She started to protest, but he didn’t give her a chance. He stretched out beside her and took her in his arms. She held herself stiff and unyielding for a moment, then relaxed against him as he stroked her back.

  She was silent, but her body shook with sobs so deep they made no sound. He held her close, hoping to absorb some of her pain, hoping to transfer some measure of comfort.

  Endless moments passed; the room was silent except for her occasional gasps for breath. He rubbed his hands up and down her back, letting her spill her grief against his chest.

  “I’m sorry, Sherry,” he said softly. “I should have never gotten you involved in all this.”

  “No…don’t say that. I’ll be all right with time.” She drew a deep breath. “I loved her, Clint. I loved her with all my heart.” Her features crumbled and this time when she cried, the sound of her weeping threatened to rip him apart.

  When she finally pulled herself together, she pushed against his chest, distancing herself enough from him that she could look into his face. “I’m glad you got me involved. I wouldn’t take back one minute of her smiles, her laughter, her funny little faces.”

  The light from a nearby streetlamp shone through the window, and in the pale illumination he saw her lips curve into a soft smile that stirred emotions deep inside him.

  “It hurts, losing her,” she said softly. “I knew all along it was inevitable, but Kathryn left me a tremendous gift.”

  “A gift?” Clint looked at her curiously, wondering if she had any idea how beautiful she looked in spite of her tear-stained features.

  “She gave me back my gift of love. I thought I’d lost it. I’ve consciously avoided it, but Kathryn showed me that I can love a child who isn’t mine.”

  Her face shone with the beauty of her discovery, and without a conscious decision being made, without any forethought involved, Clint covered her lips with his.

  Sherry had no defenses against the warmth of his lips, the overwhelming desire to remain forever in his embrace. Sensations swept through her—desire, need, love.

  She knew she should stop the kiss, pull away before those sensations carried her to a place where she could no longer halt the heat that had already begun to build between them.

  Why halt anything? a little voice said in the back of her brain. Why not just this one night indulge all the love, all the desire you have inside you for Clint? For five long years you’ve wanted him. Why not indulge that want?

  If she couldn’t have a lifetime with him, at least she’d have the memory of one night of lovemaking with him. A memory to cherish, to hold close to her heart, a memory of love that would warm her through the years to come.

  He moaned softly as her tongue danced with his, her hands rubbing up beneath his T-shirt to caress the hot skin beneath.

  She pressed her body against the length of his and felt his desire for her in the taut, hard lines of his body. Heaven help her, but she wanted him.

  His scent surrounded her, the spice of his cologne mingling with the natural musk of his body and the faint lingering scent of minty soap. The combined fragrances caused a dizzy intoxication in her head, sending her desire to dazzling new heights.

  “Sherry…my sweet Sherry,” he murmured when his lips left hers and blazed a trail across her cheek and down the side of her neck.

  His hands moved from her back to her sides, then continued upward until his palms cupped her breasts and his thumbs teased the hardened tips. Despite the material of her blouse and her bra, she could feel the heat that radiated from his touch, a provocative fire that threatened to consume her.

  And she wanted to be consumed. She wanted to lose herself in his scent, lose herself to the touch and taste of him.

  Moving her hips against his, she felt the way their bodies were intended to connect. Just this once, she told herself. Just give me this one time with Clint, let him be my first experience in lovemaking.

  She pushed his shirt up, letting him know without words that she wanted him to take it off. With one graceful movement he pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it off the side of the bed.

  Instantly Sherry explored his bare skin, reveling in the feel of his taut stomach, caressing upward to discover his bigger, harder chest muscles, then tangling her fingers in his wiry chest hair.

  The room was no longer silent, but filled with the sound of their breathing, their soft moans of pleasure as they kissed once again.

  Sherry clung to him, wanting him to take her, possess her completely. She loved him so much it hurt inside, a hurt she knew she’d carry for the rest of her life.

  “Sherry,” he said softly as their lips finally parted. He framed her face with his hands, his eyes glowing in the semidarkness of the room. “We have to stop.”

  “No…no we don’t,” she protested. “I want you to make love to me. Please, Clint. Please make love to me.”

  He closed his eyes and remained unmoving. When he opened his eyes to look at her again, the flames of desire that had filled them before were gone. “No, Sherry. Not like this. This wasn’t the way you wanted it.”

  She remembered all those nights so long ago. Always. Always it had been him who had possessed the strength to stop them before they actually made love.

  His desire for her had apparently never been as intense as hers for him. And it seemed that hadn’t changed.

  Overwhelming anguish swept through her. Now she wouldn’t even have the memory of one night with him to sustain her through the coming years. She couldn’t even have that.

  She remained unmoving on the bed as he rolled away from her and reached out to turn on the small lamp next to the bed. The lamp created a small pool of intimate golden light.

  His hair was tousled and his cheeks slightly flushed. The soft lighting emphasized his bare, tanned chest, and Sherry had never seen him look so achingly handsome.

  She closed her eyes, not wanting to look at him, embarrassed by the fact she’d pled with him to take her, to make love to her, and he’d denied her.

  “Sherry, marry me.”

  Her eyes jerked open at his words. She stared at him in disbelief, her heart leaping with both joy and despair. “What did you say?” she asked breathlessly.

  “Marry me, Sherry. Spend your life with me.” His eyes blazed with emotion. “I love you. I want to be your first lover…and your last.”

  Tears sprang to her eyes as her love for him filled her up. She wanted to say yes. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, make love to him each and every night of her existence. But she knew it would never work.

  She rolled off the bed and stood, seeking some modicum of strength inside herself, needing to summon the fortitude to walk away from him. “I think we’ve both gotten confused by spending this past week together, pretending to be a family of sorts. It’s been a rather pleasant fantasy, but just a fantasy nevertheless.”

  Walking over to the closet, she studiously avoided looking at him, knowing that if she gazed at him her resolve might weaken. She reached inside the closet and grabbed her suitcase.

/>   “What are you doing?”

  “Packing to go home.” She finally turned to look at him. “Clint, we both knew I was just here for Kathryn. Now she’s gone and it’s time for me to go. I need to get back to my life.”

  “Sherry.” He got off the bed and came to stand before her. “I’m not confused. I’m not delusional. I’m not lingering in any fantasy that might have taken place this past week. I love you. I want to marry you. I want you to be my wife. I want your life to be with me.” His eyes searched her face.

  She pushed past him and opened her suitcase on the bed. “Dammit, Sherry, listen to me,” he exclaimed. He took her by the shoulders and whirled her around to face him. “Don’t you hear what I’m telling you?”

  “I hear you, Clint.” She swallowed hard against the tears that threatened. She wouldn’t cry. Not now. Not in front of him. Later she would cry all the tears of heartache she was holding back. “But it’s foolish for us to even consider marrying. We want different things. We need different things.”

  She reached up and touched his cheek with trembling fingers. His eyes, those beautiful silvery-blue eyes were filled with a combination of emotions—love, anger, hurt…they were all there for her to see.

  “Clint, you deserve a woman who can give you children of your own. I can’t do that, but I won’t live a life without children.”

  She dropped her hand from him. “From the time I was small all I dreamed about was having a child to nurture and raise. I declined dates and chose baby-sitting on Saturday nights. I went into the teaching profession because I love children. I meant it when I told you I intend to adopt, and we both know how you feel about that.”

  She stepped away from him and reached into the closet for a handful of hanging clothes and an additional dose of inner strength. “Eventually we’d grow to resent each other.”

  Efficiently she snagged the clothes off the hangers, folded them and placed them in the suitcase. “This past week was a nice fantasy, Clint.”